today in class this guy stole my paper and i just randomly shouted “I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN” and he said “Do they have to be born?” and i just sat down because that was a hella good comeback
WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT SCREAMING I TRIED TO THREATEN THIS GUY AND HE TURNED IT INTO A BLOW JOB REFERENCE YOU GUYS BETTER BE FUCKING LAUGHINGUm, we were. It was a great cumback
OH. MY. GOD. I SNORTED
just because you love a character doesn’t mean they’re not a little shit
So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.
I was like “Aye yo, no homo, but ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.
Then I was like “No.”
I remember this bc Cal started laughing so bad that he stopped trying to sing after.
Dynamo, an English magician, went around London over the weekend, “levitating” next to this bus. He hasn’t revealed how he accomplished this trick.
Taco Bell gets deep
Whoever runs their social networking sites is a marketing genius.
Mike, I don’t know a single scarer who can do what you do. I know everyone sees us together, they think I’m the one running the show, but the truth is I’ve been riding your coattails since day one. You made the deal with Hardscrabble.